There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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