**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I understand Curling. That high.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
