I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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