Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
