hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
