brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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