So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
