I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
