I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
