I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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