Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
