BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
