11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize