who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
