3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
