it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
