i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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