My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
My balls are so social today.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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