Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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