Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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