The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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