i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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