i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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