Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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