There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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