Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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