I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
