I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
