A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
