I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Randomize
