I puked a lego.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
