I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
