There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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