I cockslap morals
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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