Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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