Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
