Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize