I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
