Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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