Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
