you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Sacagawea was the original milf.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
