I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
they're like a gay fantastic four
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
