I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
