Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
