you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
