You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
