You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
