You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
