HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize