HIV tests are more positive than that guy
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Randomize
