So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
