thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
So squirting runs in the family.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
