Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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