I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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