Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
