She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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