Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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