just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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