you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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