It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
