I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize