you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize