With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
God gave him joint rollers for hands
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
