she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
